No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
