butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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