WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
