tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
