I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize