he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
