I am puke
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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