you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize