you guys were way drunker than both of me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
