You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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