So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
