I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
