yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
