just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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