If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
