and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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