have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
