Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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