Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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