my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
