My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
