I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
