Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

her vagine was all disorganized.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.

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(212): View more from New York

at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver

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(631): View more from New York

I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.

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(562): View more from California

Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty

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(+61): View more from Australia

It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.

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(817): View more from Texas

And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon

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(301): View more from Maryland

Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.

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