I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This gyro tastes like lonliness
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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