STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I will die if light touches me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
