Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dear god my vagina.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
