I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
