was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
