Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She bit a glass in half.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
