Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
