i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
