Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
