sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
