Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
