brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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