i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
