Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
