do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
