she was so not down for the gang bang
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
