I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
