Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
