Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
