fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
