A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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