News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she peed on how many people?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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