I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
