did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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