Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
