That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
