Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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