Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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