why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
