we have officially lost it.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
