So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
