I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
