i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
