Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
