I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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