did you get engaged???
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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