Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
