I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
